CURRENT JOURNAL (5/10 +1/2004)

Sunday - May 23, 2004 - I'm not sure if we're still under a tornado watch or a flood watch.  Since Friday, we've only registered an inch in my rain gauge.  I did ask the boys to watch over me what with all these alleged funnels flying around all over the place.  Thanks, Andrew and Jarrett.  Some people were saying we needed the rain but whenever I dug in the dirt, the soil came up wet and soggy so I didn't know where they were getting their information.  Maybe from the Weather Bug?  The weather does have an effect on everything whether we realize it or not.  Especially our moods.  These cloudy, gloomy days are for the birds!!!  Although I will have to say that it is enjoyable to look out the window and see that everything is GREEN!!  During my foray into the outdoors this morning, I picked up the newspaper and on my way back, I noticed that my peach foxglove is starting to bloom.  It is so awesome.  When I planted it last year, I didn't realize that it was NOT going to bloom.  bummer.  Plus, I think the blue delphinium is going to bloom, too.  What a hoot!  Excuse me for being such a flower nut.  Thank the boys for that.  They were the reason I started my big flower garden - so I could keep an eye on them when they were playing outside.  God bless Andrew and Jarrett.  Let's see if I can find a picture of some lovely flowers. 

Tulips in the garden from a few weeks back - I'll have to take a current picture when the sun comes out!

Oh, I have good news about Jarrett's evergreen tree.  It's starting to get some new growth on it.  I'm thrilled!!!  As soon as it gets back to looking like a healthy tree, I'll plant it in the cemetery with Andrew's tree.  Haven't taken a picture of Andrew's tree yet but I'll do that sometime this week.  Okay, I'm out of here. bye. see ya, djb

Saturday - May 22, 2004 - Yesterday afternoon, I finally understood something quite simple.  Let go and let God handle things.  Isn't that amazing?  Why yes, it is.  About 2:30, I had to make an emergency trip to Home Depot to get some plumber's putty to fix the drain in the kitchen sink.  Grandpa told me that when I called the Berg Fix-it Hotline earlier in the day.  After I took all of the various potions and lotions out from under the sink, I doodled around and fixed it.  Who knows if it's really fixed or not but at least it should hold for a little while.  As I was finishing up, I heard two little munchkins in the garage.  When I went out to check on the commotion, I found my little buddies from across the street.  They're now 6 and 4 years old.  The same age difference as Andrew and Jarrett.  They asked me what I was doing.  I said that I was going to plant a flower.  "Can we help?"  Not this time.  Then, I remembered the bubble makers that I was going to give them for Easter.  This was the day - this was the perfect day to play with bubbles.  Sunny, humid,  not too windy.  We opened the packages and put in the batteries.  They worked like a champ.  I needed to see happy little boys yesterday, and so I did.  After a while, they started blowing the bubbles in each other's faces.... just like Andrew and Jarrett would have done.  I couldn't have been happier to remember them at that moment.  So, I guess God knew that yesterday I would need to see some bubbles and smile in remembrance of years gone by.  That was why I couldn't give them the bags on Easter because I had to wait for my perfect lesson, and so it was.  Here are some of the bubbles.  Plus, I caught Hobbes laying on the driveway watching them go by:

Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles.  Hobbes is mesmerized.  (notice clematis is starting to bloom) 

Okay, that's all for now.  See ya later.  bye, djb

Friday - May 21, 2004 - still sad.

Thursday - May 20, 2004 - still sad.

later - (5/19) - I did the floor, I painted the ceiling in the bathroom, I mowed the yard and trimmed.  Now, I'm sitting outside crying because I miss my boys.  I'm so sad.  I found a plaster of Paris sun that Jarrett had made in grade school.  It just made me so sad because they're not here.  I just don't understand why did they BOTH had to go?!  It


Andrew and Jarrett, my saintly boys.  God bless them, please!!  I miss you guys MORE THAN EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just breaks my heart.  Bob's on his great adventure to Florida for GOLFING and business, so he's not even here to drive me nuts either.  It's just Hobbes and his whiny meowing.  It's night, Hobbes, you have to come in the house.  I went into Elburn and went by the grave.  It's still there.  damn.  I wish it wasn't there.  I wish I didn't have to go to a damn cemetery to visit my children.  Why do so many other people have their kids and don't realize WHAT THEY HAVE dammit, and I don't have mine.  I just don't understand it.  I keep trying to understand it but I just can't.  I'm just so so sad.  What's the point of all of this anyway?  I don't get it.  I just don't get it at all.  I'm slowly repainting over their grubby little handprints.  I'm putting polyurethane on the floor that they walked on and boogied on.  I'm all alone.  It's just so sad.  Maybe I'm finally getting to where everyone else was last year.  I'm kind of slow sometimes.  It can take me years to get a joke.  Then, I'll start laughing out loud inappropriately, of course.  The boys loved to tell me jokes.  They knew half the time I wouldn't get it!  That makes me laugh a bit.  night night sweet boys.  Sweet dreams.  Andrew and Jarrett, I miss you little weasels every second of every day of my life!!!  See ya later.  Love, Mom 

WEDNESDAY - May 19, 2004 - I got up at 5:30 or so this morning.  Put the polyurethane on the wood floor.  Finished painting the ceiling in the bathroom.  I painted the bathroom last night.  Now, I have to go into Elburn to buy gas for the tractor so I can mow the lawn before it rains again!  It's SO LONG!  One good thing about this weather is that everything is GREEN.  That reminds me of St. Patrick's Day.  Where are my little leprechauns?

Jarrett trying to escape, Bob in the middle and Andrew showing saying Ay carumba!

Okay, I'm out of here.  It's not quite as warm as we'd like it but at least it isn't RAINING!!!!  See ya later, djb

TUESDAY - May 18, 2004 - We had a little bit of rain last night.  Of course, when you hear the forecasts, they make it sound like everyone should go out and build an ark!  I think the total rainfall since last night is about half an inch.  The grass is growing like crazy.  Yesterday when Hobbes was walking toward me, he had to lift his little paws high in the air because the grass is so high.  That was funny.  The deck is 2/3 painted.  Instead of rain yesterday, we had sun.  Thanks boys!  So, I figured that I might as well work on it.  You know, it's not going to paint itself!!! lol  I have to get going and start sanding the wood floor so I can put the polyurethane on it some day soon.  I found pictures of Andrew and Jarrett doing the things they loved:  golf and in-line skating.  So, here's my boys:

Andrew checking his score card at that golf course in St. Charles whose name I can never remember.

Jarrett sliding on his rail in the driveway - perfecting his moves.  He always had amazing balance.

All right, I'm out of here.  Oh by the way, I did get a new telephone yesterday.  The other one stopped working over the weekend.  It's always exciting to get a new phone.  Plus, I was able to change my message which I thought sounded lame but I never got around to changing it.  Now, I sound less lame.  see ya later.  bye, djb

MONDAY - 17th of May - Norwegian Independence Day - I can't remember all of the specifics, but as I recall, it's the day that Norway declared their independence from Sweden.  I know there's more to the story.  It's kind of like our July 4th.  Liz's dad said that you can start planting your garden on Siten de Mai (I'm sure I spelled it wrong!).  Okay, here's a picture of a bunch of Norwegians (in honor of this day):

Front row:  Ludwig Berg, Sarah (Peterson) Berg (my great grandparents) and their son, Norris Berg.  Back row: Lillie, Leonard (the twins), Henry, GEORGE (my Grandpa) and Grace Berg.

Lillie Berg (above) married Chester Olson and she is the grandmother of the current Mayor of Rochelle, Chet Olson.  Hey, I was president of the homeowners association a few years ago!  Alan was president of the school board.  I think Denny was president of the country club.  We Bergs are so politically active.  Yikes!  gotta go.  see ya later, djb

SUNDAY - May 16, 2004 - Hobbes woke me up this morning with his incessant meowing.  It's VERY cold here this 41 degrees.  However, they say we're supposed to get up to 74.  Perfect, beautiful, sunny day.  I finally got one of the biggest compliments a gardener can get.  My next door neighbor told me that my lawn looked great.   Isn't that sweet?  Of course, I agreed with him!!!  Last night, I heard from Judy Z in California.  They'll be here in June for Bob & Joan's 50th wedding anniversary celebration.  We still can't believe that they've been married for FIFTY YEARS!!!  That's a long time, man.  I do have some good pictures of them in my possession.  I'll have to find one to put in here.  Years ago, when Trevor and Missy got married, I snapped a great shot of Bob and Joan.  Finding pictures is much easier when they're on a CD.  Of course, St. Anthony ALWAYS comes through for me.  All right that's enough chatter.  Let me go and look for a photo that will make me happy.  See ya later.  bye for now, djb

Judy's kids and my kids.  Ain't they cute? 

SATURDAY - The Ides of May (2004) - It's so cold here today.  The thermometer outside says that it's 54 degrees.  Brrrrr.  Plus, it's cloudy and damp and just plain yukky!  I just got in from transplanting some of my big blue hosta.  Although it's not particularly nice out, it is perfect transplanting weather.  So, I'm not really complaining although it does sound like I am.  Some day in the near future, we'll all be complaining about how HOT it is.  woohoo.  Except me.  I never complain about the heat.  All right, once in a while I do but rarely.  This sounds so lame.  I'm going to look for a picture.  I have to scan some more series pictures.  You know the ones where they're doing something and I take a whole roll of film!  I'll do that later when I get tired of yard work!  Okay, here's what I picked:

Jarrett, Me, Andrew - I like this picture so much, it makes me want to cry.

Remember you all.....take LOTS of pictures of your sweet children.  That's my advice for today.  see ya later....bye, djb

FRIDAY - May 14, 2004 - WOW!  I can't believe how much happened in only 24 hours!  Yikes!  It seems as though sometimes one day can seem like a week.  Yesterday afternoon, after I got back from my travels, I was out in the yard waiting for the STORM to come and it missed us again.  Thanks boys!  I had gone into the cemetery earlier to weed whack their grass.  It had gotten SO tall.  I have to put some flowers in there one of these days.  There's a spot right in front of the stone that needs flowers.  The grass looks green and lush.  I was expecting that Bob was going to stay in Indianapolis last night, but he called about 7 and told me that they all decided that they'd rather drive back home than spend the night in Indiana.  He said he would be back about 11:30.  I said, "Oh no, the garage on your side is FULL of flowers."  He said, "No problem, I'll park outside."  I had earlier gone to Wal-Mart in Rochelle with Krissy and had to get a few flowers.  Then, on my way back home, I stopped in Hinckley at Ozzie's.  I have found heaven on earth and it is Ozzie's.  They have the most unusual plants I've ever seen.  So healthy and gorgeous.  A few of them called my name, so of course I had to buy them and bring them home with me.  Plant, plant, plant.  Anyway, after I finished working in the yard, it was dark - about 8:15 or so - I came in the house and ate some food and then decided to watch the news at 9.  Lo and behold, at 9:06, our electricity went OUT!  When the electricity goes out, at first it's such a shock.  You just can't believe it.  Then, you have to start looking for flashlights and more flashlights and candles, etc.  I ALWAYS call Com Ed to report the outage.  ALWAYS.  Even when it would go out in the middle of the night, I ALWAYS call them.  When I called, I found out that the outage was not only MY house, but also Big Rock Township, Blackberry Township and some other township.  Yikes!  I looked across the street, lights out!!!!  So, I decided to read a book about Jesus.  Then, when I was reading about miracles happening all the time, the lights came on!!  That was about 10:45.  I had to wait for Bob to get home so I could put his eye drops in.  Plus, I wanted to make sure he was here before I went to sleep.  He got here almost exactly at 11:30.  So that was my day.  I've left out a few parts.  Like when I planted the two blueberry bushes.  WHAT fun.  I love blueberries.  And I'd also like to thank the people who work for Com Ed.  Thank you for working so hard to get our electricity back on - you guys are the BEST!!!  I know what it's like to work for a utility because after all, Uncle Bergy worked for one for years!!  Speaking of uncles, I have a picture of the boys with Uncle Ron in DeKalb at the picnic we had at Aunt Gladys and Uncle Malvin's house:

Unidentified man walking dog in background, Uncle Ron smiling as he watches Andrew and Jarrett running - action shot!

All right, I'm going out in the rain to get the other newspaper before it gets totally soggy!  See ya later, djb

THURSDAY - May 13, 2004 - We finally got the rain that everyone else got.  Yesterday afternoon, I had just finished mowing the lawn and had driven the tractor up to the shed and the wind started blowing like crazy and rain drops were falling on my head.  Whew.  Glad I was able to get the grass cut.  It didn't look as tall from far away as it really was - did that make sense?  I'm like a fussy little old lady when it comes to my grass.  Darn...I am a little old lady!  hahahaa   I'm going over to Ashton to see Krissy this morning.  Why am I going over there?  Because I want to!!  You people are so nosy.  lol.  I'll probably stop and see my brother, Dennis, since he's retired and it's raining and he can't play golf today.  Although, I have seen him out on the course when it's been raining.  He's so funny.  I have a cute picture of him with the boys but I don't know WHERE it is, so I won't put that one in, sorry.  I have SO MANY pictures, that I'm grateful that I was always an obsessive compulsive picture taker.  REMEMBER:  Take pictures!  I'm NOT kidding.  Better go now.  I'll go look for something cute:

Andrew - I love his expression.  It's the picture that I have on my screen saver.

Jarrett - both Bob and I think this picture captures the "essence" of Jarrett.  It's our favorite.

I'm getting ready to put my skeedaddling shoes on.  say what?  I'll have to convince Hobbes that coming in the house is "his" idea!  good luck to me.  Today reminds me of Florida.  humid, etc.  love it.  bye see ya later, djb

WEDNESDAY - May 12, 2004 - I just can't believe that it's Wednesday already!  That is incredible.  The weather is so wonderful that I'm going to cut this short today because I HAVE TO get outside.  Everything is blooming and growing and it's so exciting out there!!!  They're saying that it's going to be humid....duh.  You don't know humid until you've been in Florida in June!  Now, THAT's humid!!!!  haha  Here's a couple pictures of Andrew and Jarrett with the video camera at Aunt Liz and Uncle Ron's house a few years ago.  I think it was 2001 in the fall.  That reminds me, I have to get all of those little cassettes made into DVDs.  Did I ever mention the "Jackass" video that Kevin, Jon and Jarrett made?!  It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.  Every time Kylie comes over to visit, she always says, "Aunt Donna, can I see Jarrett's funny video?"  And I always say, "You betcha!"  Then, I laugh and laugh and laugh and tell Kylie that she should never copy what the boys did because after, they are BOYS!!!  . Okay, here's the videographers:

Andrew with the video camera looking at his work, sitting next to Uncle Al, the kiddie's pal.

Jarrett at the same family gathering looking at his video work in the kitchen near Grandma and Aunt Liz.

It's time to get going here.  Besides being SO GORGEOUS outside, it's also garbage day.  See ya later, djb

TUESDAY - May 11, 2004 - We finally got into the rainy, wet cycle of weather but at least it's not real cold.  I think it's probably good for the grass and the flowers and definitely for the corn.  While we were driving to DeKalb on Saturday, I saw little tiny baby corn that had sprouted - you could just barely see it.  It was very, very exciting to an old farmer's daughter such as myself!!  You know, I want to give some advice to any of the youngsters out there who might be reading this.  Whenever you're writing something and you go back to proofread your work, do this little test for IT'S.  It's is a contraction for IT IS.  So, when you're proofing, substitute that (it is) and if it doesn't make sense, take out the apostrophe.  When you use it like, "they gave the dog its milk bone."  Normally, you might think its is possessive because it's modifying the milk bone, but NOT!!!  This is a valuable piece of advice that will make you look WAY smarter than you are!!!  Bob and I went over the Andrew and Jarrett Memorial Scholarship forms last night.  I sincerely and deeply appreciate everyone who applied.  I wish I had the money to give one to everyone!!!!  We chose 8 seniors.  We're giving 2 scholarships to two kids who graduated last year.  Our criteria for choosing is interesting because Bob and I almost always agree 100%.  We don't necessarily pick the smartest or the ones with the best grades.  As I was reading them though, one of the things that I noticed that was kind of close to my heart was noticing that the "cliques" still exist in high school.  I remember being in junior high and some girls made fun of me in a health class - basically completely and totally humiliated me in front of everyone (only girls, thank God!).  However, when I look back I realize that experience made me more empathetic and tolerant of others.  I wonder what those smart ass little witches are doing these days.  Oh, excuse me, forgive and forget, eh?  I'm just kidding.  If you're reading this, I'll tell you what I told Andrew and Jarrett.  I believe that after we die, we have to review our entire life with Jesus by our side while we watch it on a kind of 3-D viewer.  We get to experience the pain we caused others!  That means we get to feel the stinging barbs of our very own words!!  Just remember that the next time you're mean instead of kind.  When Jarrett was in middle school, the kids wouldn't sign some sweet little girl's yearbook because she didn't fit into their precious little mold.  He came home and told me.  I said, "Jarrett, be kind.  People notice what you do.  When you go to school tomorrow, sign her yearbook and make sure everyone sees you doing it."  Well, he said that he couldn't do that.  But, God bless my sweet boy!  He did go to school the next day and HE SIGNED HER YEARBOOK.  He said, "Mom, she was SO HAPPY when I signed her yearbook.  I'm SO GLAD I did it."  So, there you go.  A life lesson from Jarrett.  BE KIND TO EVERYONE TODAY.  God bless you all, luv, djb

The members of Andrew and Jarrett's hood in 1995