December 27, 30 & 31, 2011 * Journal
Tuesday, December 27, 2011 -The other day, I came
across the journal page I finished writing on
Christmas
Eve in 2007.  

Now, I finally understand why I got the shingles....not
necessarily WHY I got them in my eye but why I was so
stressed in March 2008 that I broke out with the herpes
zoster virus through my trigeminal nerve.

I got the shingles from the STRESS of keeping all of my
emotions inside.  Everyone thought I should be totally
OVER my two sons being dead and gone from the
planet.  My mind knew they were gone but not my
heart...my heart is still looking for them.

When I watched the Christmas video yesterday, I was
amazed at how calm I was dealing with Andrew and
Jarrett and pleasantly surprised to see how much I
laughed and had fun with them.

They were my world.  No, they weren't perfect.  Who is?  
But they were my sweeties.  I told them I loved them
every single day of their lives.  And I prayed to God to
love and protect them...

...how'd that work out, eh?  Not so good, huh?

It makes me question everything I've ever been told that
I should believe on faith.  

Nothing makes sense any more.   djb
Andrew and Jarrett posing at Rosita's.  I thought
that was me behind Andrew but I think Avis had
a top like the one I have so that must be her.  
Who else would be taking a picture but me?!
Friday, December 30, 2011 - Happy New Year's Eve Eve.

I just came across this combined picture of Andrew on his
new phone and Jarrett with Hobbes (altered eyes) sitting on
the sofa from December 24, 2002.  This was their LAST
Christmas on earth.

Who knew that then?  Jarrett had gotten his ear pierced a
few nights before.  I think Jacqui did it...  Not 100% sure. You
can "almost" see the earring in his left ear.

This year is very close to being over and we still don't have
SNOW!!! That's the best gift ever!   see ya later, djb
Saturday, December 31, 2011 - Happy New Year's Eve.

It's really incredibly hard to believe that this year is gone!!  Did
it fly by really fast or am I getting old?  Don't answer that!

A long time ago, we used to go to a New Year's Eve party but I
just can't stay up that late any more.  Unless I'm gambling.  
haha  If I'm at a casino, I lose all track of time.
Everyone knows they don't have clocks in there but they do
time stamp the tickets if you have a "need to know."  

Hope you all have a
HAPPY NEW YEAR.  In Illinois, the tolls
are rising on the tollways which is why I ALWAYS take the
back roads.  Perry Road -- my favorite.  see ya next year, djb